Yes, you guessed correct. I was talking about friends. Not the TV show FRIENDS, though I really miss how awesome that show was and amazingly I learnt a lot from that show, for example how wit is charming, or Chandler was and how being silly is adorable, only for Joey though.
That is not the point. I am getting off topic here, though I’d love to go on about that show. Sigh, those were good times but wait… It is actually kinda related to this topic so yeah I won’t beat myself about getting distracted again. Anyhow, I’m not gonna rant any more and get onto the real deal.
So I want an honest opinion, how many of us actually remember the first friend that we ever made. I bet we all do, ’cause you know why, that was our first pure friendship and it involved no drama, considering we were quite young and innocent. If you lasted that friendship and it bloomed over the years, you are very lucky and I envy you at the moment, ’cause well, I have been quite unfortunate with this situation. I can count and tell that within the last 5 years I’ve lost more than 13 friends. Well, lost may be a wrong choice of words, but heck I lost touch with them as they moved away or just kinda changed, you know.
However, if you’re gonna know my story, let’s take it to the very start. I have always found myself being friends with boys more often than girls ever since I was young. And being girl, esp. a Middle Eastern girl, it may be acceptable during childhood for a girl to have guy company but as you grow old, you have no other option than to make girl friends to avoid loneliness. No offence really to girls, but it is kinda true what they say that boys are less drama than girls. I have experienced that throughout my school years. In my kindergarten age I was friends with 2 guys and 1 girl, so we were a pack of 4 and we’d hang out during lunch and stay up during nap time and giggle till we had stitches. We literally did everything together, from eating lunch to doing our work, sitting together to getting in trouble. I know I was quite a handful back then but hey, I’m on the road to progress.
Anyways, so it was all sunshine and rainbows till one day I got appointed as the class monitor with my 2 guy friends. See, there were supposed to be 2 girl monitors and 2 guys monitors, so both my guy friends ended up being monitors and I ended up being one too. Now we all felt terrible for our friend who couldn’t become one and I even offered to step down if she didn’t like it if she felt left out, but she declined and I being naive thought all was well. But nay! All is never well with girls, trust me on that. So the next thing I know is that my only girl friend has not only found herself a new group of friends but they also started talking behind my back and made fun of me. Yes yours truly was also bullied. Anyways, I decided to stick with my guy friends and one day they both found out about the entire situation from a sad lonely girl, yes me. Ugh, I hate breaking down in front of people, but hey I was small and tender at heart. Don’t judge. It ended up being pretty nasty even at that age, there was lots of screaming and name calling and crying (well I did the latter) and we 3 were no longer friends with that girl.
Moving on to the second grade, I had to change schools. Yes, a nightmare for every student. So, friendless and sad I walked in the first day and BAM where do I find myself?! In a group of not just 2 but rather 5 boys. Yes, fate was upgrading in my life but it kinda missed the memo on where I needed girl friends since I was a girl myself. That year went by pretty amazing as my group of friends was amazed by everything I could do, since I was a girl. Sigh, sexist even at that age. Lol.
Moving on to further years where in our school we no longer had co-ed classes so I found myself pretty lonely whereas all the girls knew each other from previous years and I was just the girl with the ‘gang’. Now, I used to be a very shy person and I had tons of problems going up to girls that seemed like snobs to me ’cause I was used to of all the plain normal boy stuff, and ask them to hang out. But, luckily for me I wasn’t the only one facing problems with making friends. there were a couple of girls who had just changed schools and were timid like me, so I would sit by them and day by day make progress. It ended up being pretty fun and adventurous accomplishing something on my own in a world strange to me. Yes, it was a proud moment.
But like the sun doesn’t shine for ever and it’s bound to rain on someone’s parade; well it somehow always managed to be my parade that got rained on. I lost the friends I had made because the monsters I created were now out of my control and the devil had its eye on them. So that was a pretty tough phase, being back where I started and yeah I’m gonna fast forward to happier times.
Time to start high school and I met the two most unique and amazing personalities and I’m so glad to say that we’re still best of friends and no matter how we may be, we still have time to catch up and always be there for each other.
During high school I discovered the real meaning of double faced and experienced for myself that how shallow and materialistic people, esp. girls can be.
My best friends had to leave in the middle of high school and that was a huge blow for me to handle, but I learnt how to stand up on my own against a cruel world and how far and low the world can go to get things done. I will not say anymore about this because I tell myself that I have forgiven those people and writing about it publicly will just prove me wrong.
So bygones be bygones, the main idea of this is that no matter who you chose to befriend is totally up to you but you should make sure that you are not befriending a person just because you need to use and abuse them and then just leave them curled up in a corner doubting themselves. Friendship is a sacred bond and all should trust it, if you’re going to be friends, dedicate yourself to your friendship because even a little bit of negligence can prevent the flower of a much stronger and better friendship from blooming. The main key to being a good friend is to be their for your friends and be a listener. No matter how many ups and downs I’ve gone through in my friendships I have always been the only one who was always there to listen and help and trust me when or if, God forbid your friendship doesn’t last long, you can exit the scene knowing you actually did all that you can to save your friendship and the ones that didn’t will know it for themselves and will have a heavy heart of guilt and regret knowing they’ve wronged you. Plus, there is always Karma; you wouldn’t wanna be on her list. And when you find those perfect friends that fit your life like missing puzzle pieces, don’t ever let go of them and keep them close to you.
Know that good friends always carve you out into the gem that you are and fake friends are too busy scheming how your sparkle mustn’t outshine their so they forget to appreciate the gem you could be. Allow criticism, ’cause it only makes you better and never ever become the person you hated in your friendship. Learn from your broken bonds and use that knowledge to strengthen your new ones. We all have a few special friends which we favour over the rest of our group and those are our best friends, but it never means you neglect the rest. Rejection leads to negativity, it’s human nature, but recall the time you got rejected in a group of friends and never let that happen to anyone you know.
Memories are the best part of any friendship, and I would like us all to cherish those. As long as you don’t betray yourself or your morals, you’re bound to find your three musketeers group and you’ll know that it was all worth the wait and that life always has something better in plan for us.
So, if you see someone eating alone at school or they maybe too shy to talk, approach them, show them the real meaning of true friendship and they’ll thank you for being their saviour and who knows in the end they might be the missing piece to your puzzle.
Until next time…